Friday Funnies

Jane & Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink & a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom & cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette & continues to smoke.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A Condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore & announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind if strangely (she is afterall over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a camel."

The Pharmacist fainted!

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I hafta admit, I've felt like this pumpkin a few times in my life!!!
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With all that's been goin' on....

I was so depressed lastnight, that I called lifeline.

Got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited & asked if I could drive a truck....?

What was that all about?

I'm A MESS!!!

So I think I mentioned that I haven't been feeling all that great lately.....actually for almost the past 3 weeks. I was experiencing nausea, dry heaves, fatigue.....nope NOT pregnant. All the symptoms, but NOT!!! When I realized that I wasn't pregnant, but was still having symptoms I decided to make an appointment with my doctor. Went it, explained the symptoms & the good doctor had me take a pregnancy test (just to be safe) & also sent me for a full bloodwork up. Well after getting the results of my tests, NOT PREGNANT & finding out that my liver enzymes were elevated......he then sent me back for some additional blood work. When I went in for the results, he explained to me that he thought that I might have had Hepatitis A. I explained to him that I had HA years ago when I worked at a preschool. We then went through the 'could be's' & decided it was in my best interest to send me for an abdominal ultra sound. Meanwhile, I get this major sinus infection & this thing pops up on my lower back. So I go back to see the doctor yesterday & he tells me I have gallstones.....hence the reason I've been so sick. So after writing me a prescription for my sinuses, an antibiotic for everything else & setting an appointment to talk with the surgeon for Friday, I think I might actually be on the road to recovery....or at least I hope so!!! I'll know more about the surgery come Friday afternoon, will be sure to keep y'all posted. Until then.....send me HAPPY THOUGHTS!!!

Wordless Wednesday

Okay....so one word.....PRECIOUS!!!!

Isabella Grace

Isabella Grace: 7lbs. 2oz, 19.5", Born at 7:36pm

So lately I've been battling being sick & am still dealing with a sinus infection, but this is just too good not to share!!! She is the newest addition to our family....my Great Niece. Isn't she just lovely!!!