Friday Funnies

THE NORMAL LIFE SPAN EXPLAINED

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

Answers....

Here are the answers to the trivia questions from yesterday!

1. Over which country did Pan Am flight 103 crash in December 88?
   A: Scotland.
2. Which 1980s US president survived an assassination attempt?
   A: Ronald Reagan.
3. The 1980 Olympics were boycotted because of the USSR's invasion of which country?
   A: Afghanistan.
4. Where were the 1980 Olympics held which were boycotted by American athletes?
   A: Moscow.
5. Who beat Carl Lewis in 1988 in Seoul but was later disqualified?
   A: Ben Johnson
6. Which volcano in Washington state erupted in 1980?
   A: Mount St. Helens.
7. Which 80s leader had a wife called Raisa?
   A: Mikhail Gorbachev.
8. Which city was devastated by an earthquake in 1985 and then hosted the World Cup in 1986?
   A: Mexico.
9. The increasing scarcity of elephants and rhinos led to a 1989 ban on which substance?
   A: Ivory.
10. Who attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan in 1981?
    A: John Hinckley.
11. Whose 70th birthday concert did Whitney Houston sing at in London in 1988?
    A: Nelson Mandela
12. In 1988 which city had the highest murder rate of any in the US?
    A: Washington.
13. Which hospital was Ronald Reagan taken to after the 1981 attempt on his life?
    A: George Washington Hospital.
14. Which spacecraft exploded on take-off in January 1986?
    A: Challenger.
15. In the 80s Afghanistan was occupied by troops from which country?
    A: USSR.

Time Travel Tuesdays

How much do you remember (know) about the 80's??? Below I compiled a list of trivia from the 80's. For fun, let's see what you remember. I'll post the answers to the trivia tomorrow.

1. Over which country did Pan Am flight 103 crash in December 88?
   
2. Which 1980s US president survived an assassination attempt?
   
3. The 1980 Olympics were boycotted because of the USSR's invasion of which country?
   
   
4. Where were the 1980 Olympics held which were boycotted by American athletes?
   
5. Who beat Carl Lewis in 1988 in Seoul but was later disqualified?
   
6. Which volcano in Washington state erupted in 1980?
   
7. Which 80s leader had a wife called Raisa?
   
8. Which city was devastated by an earthquake in 1985 and then hosted the World Cup in 1986?
   
9. The increasing scarcity of elephants and rhinos led to a 1989 ban on which substance?
   
10. Who attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan in 1981?
    
11. Whose 70th birthday concert did Whitney Houston sing at in London in 1988?
    
12. In 1988 which city had the highest murder rate of any in the US?
    
13. Which hospital was Ronald Reagan taken to after the 1981 attempt on his life?
    
14. Which spacecraft exploded on take-off in January 1986?
    
15. In the 80s Afghanistan was occupied by troops from which country?
    

As always here's a little something to make you smile....