Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday Funnies

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,” You don’t know Jack Schitt?!”
Well, thanks to genealogy efforts you can now respond in an intelligent way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt was married to O Schitt,
the fertilizer magnet and owner of Needeep N Schitt, Inc. they
had one son Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
couple produced Six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull
Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high
school Dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt
divorced. Noe Schitt Later married Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a
rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other
six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout
childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials the Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodical son, left home to tour the world. He
recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

So now when someone says, “you don’t know Jack Schitt?” you can correct


Heather Wigen said...


heartacheorheartburn said...

Funniest thing I've read all day! Pretty much all week. Thanks for making me laugh heartily!